Je ne comprend pas

I haven’t been fortunate enough to meet people who deeply believe on keeping things simple. There seems to linger, this conception, an unwritten law, that the degree of one’s cognizance lies in theability of one to use words that are completely incomprehensible to the common man. The otherday, I saw this appalling instruction carelessly scribbled in a bureaucratic memorandum of the state’s office. It read, “ The writer is disposed to regard as contrary to efficient office procedure the utilization of government communications apparatus to conduct non-governmental business”. An extremely conceited coy soul would (like a man with immense confidence in his innate navigational abilities who would refuse to stop for directions in the presence of a female counterpart, even whenhe has a vague feeling that he was headed towards Rome) not conceive the idea of asking the moreknowledgeable, what the pile of codswallop truly means.


I wouldn’t completely disagree that at times one is coerced to mask one’s ignorance and go with the flow. But there are other times when one should show their true self and concede that one is a half-baked imbecile and let the world judge by the appearances. That truly would qualify as a noble task.That day, I was in no mood to climb up the mountains and yell out to the world that my levels ofcomprehension had hit rock bottom. Consulting my memory, I decided, would be of no consequence. I surmised that the gobbledygook would boil down to, “ Don’t use our phones to conduct personal business”.


A psychiatrist would say that the human mind is bizarre (he ought to say that considering the fact that if the human mind had not been bizarre, he’d have no source of income). To ascertain its superiority,the human soul could either indulge in tyranny, or on the lighter side, use long, unnecessary words.One would usually prefer the second option. On the other hand we also have people who do not use long, unnecessary words. One would ask, “Why wouldn’t they?”. Of course, we can all speculate. (Yes, I said “speculate” . Why should the media alone enjoy such privileges) One obvious reason is that the person is such a schmuck (I bet u cant think of a word that can describe it better), that he is completely oblivious of the fact that such words ever exist. Another reason is that the person, being an egghead, after swallowing the dictionary, would not resort to the ostentatious display of his acquired knowledge (they don’t make this kind anymore). The third reason is that the person is completely aloof and cut out from the world that he becomes pessimistic regarding the utility of such an action.


After having read so much, if you have the slightest feeling that I’m one of those who’d follow the religion blasphemously called as “ gobbledygook – ism”, then you might as well declare me a hoodlum and eschew me.